Saturday, November 30, 2013

Why Charity And Stupidity Don't Mix

Your house shouldn't be open to absolutely everyone - no matter how big.

Let's get one thing out of the way right now - charity is a good thing. No, charity is a great thing. No, charity is an ESSENTIAL thing. It's good to keep in mind, however, that charity, like so many wonderful things, can sometimes be handled with stupidity and hence become harmful.

Take exercise, for instance. A good thing, right? Not when you decide to add an extra four miles to your morning run when it's a hundred and two degrees outside, you've got company showing up in an hour, your child has to go to camp and you've left the oven on.

Stupidity has a knack for turning good things bad. Which brings me back to charity. There are people out there who are generous, empathetic and completely stupid. They'll  invite a guy to live in their home even though the dude was just tossed from his own house two nights earlier for shattering all the windows in a crack induced blackout - his second of the week, no less. There comes a certain point when you have to ask if doing the right thing is really doing the right thing.

Back when I was drinking I would stumble down the streets of New York, giving money to each and every person with a hand out on the sidewalk. My sister, knowing a lush at work when she saw one, would suggest I keep my money in my pocket for the evening, then give a goodly sum to an organized charity when I sobered up.

Makes sense, doesn't it? Respectable charities tend to give your hard earned money to people who need it in EFFECTIVE WAYS. That's why it's better to give to people who will spend wisely. Or better yet, volunteer your time. Spending a few hours a week helping out in a homeless shelter will do society a lot more good than slipping a five to someone with rotting teeth and track marks up and down the arms.

 Being charitable feels good, but charity is about more than patting yourself on the shoulder. Don't be one of those people who makes generosity and stupidity synonymous with one another. Your won't be helping anyone - especially not yourself.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

An Update

Hey all. I have an article appearing at Boxing Insider explaining why former champ David Haye may actually be Tyson Fury's best friend. Check it out here!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Losing Weight

The Wold's Greatest Cat Is A Firm Believer In Moderation.

Ever since I was a kid I've been nagged by people who tell me I can accomplish things if only I'd really WANT to. After all, wanting something, really wanting something, means you're willing to put yourself out of your comfort zone in order to get it.

Anyway, I read an article today at NJ.COM that showcased a man who really wanted to achieve something. And guess what? He did! The man is a Mixed Martial Artist who had to lose a bunch of weight for an upcoming match. He struggled, sure, but he got the job done.

Being inspired by this fighter's definition of what it is to really WANT something, I've decided, for the first time in my life, really, to put in the hard work everyone tells me is necessary in order to achieve a goal. That's right, I'm going to lose weight like someone who really WANTS to.

First, I'm going to crank up the heat in our place to ninety degrees. Then, I'm going to rub my wife's makeup remover all over my body in order to open up my pores (how the hell can I sweat off the pounds if my damned pores are closed???).

After I'm finished with the rub down, I'm going to don a rubber suit in order to start really getting my temperature up there. While doing that, I'm going to fill my bathtub with a combination of near scalding water, rubbing alcohol and Epsom salts.

Now, even though it will be hard for me to inhale and exhale at this point, I'm going to take the rubber suit off and sit my ass in that tub for a good half an hour.

But I'm not done. Not even close.

After I'm finally able to climb out of the tub I'm going to somehow manage to put my rubber suit back on. This may require the help of the guy downstairs, since, by this point, my wife may well have scooped up the World's Greatest Cat and fled to her sister's.

Undeterred, I'll crawl down to the garage in said rubber suit, somehow get inside my car and drive on over to the nearest gym, pulling over whenever I get lightheaded. Once at the gym, I'll hop right inside the sauna and spend the rest of the day in there. During moments of consciousness, I'll scrape the sweat off my body with a plastic bank card so more sweat will be able to flow at a faster pace.

Being discovered sometime after closing by the gym manager, I'll bum a ride home, then put the rubber suit back on and run another bath. Several days later, my wife will most likely find me in there when she comes to collect the rest of her things.

Being roused out of my near coma, I'll hop onto the scale and luxuriate in the fact that finally, at forty-two years of age, I've wanted something enough to do what's necessary to attain it. Then I'll pass back out again.

The next day I'll go to IHOP.

Thursday, November 7, 2013


Hey all! Just wanted to give a head's up: my latest boxing article can be found here at Boxing Insider. It deals with the (possible) future of Iron Mike Tyson.

Check it out!

Monday, November 4, 2013

ObamaCare and Lying

The World's Greatest Cat finds it all exhausting.

So here's the ugly truth: you may not be able to keep your health care plan. What's more, you may not even be able to keep your doctor.

Here's another ugly truth: our president repeatedly told you, on camera, that you can keep both those things.

Still, he may not have lied. I repeat, he may not have lied.

Now, before I get my cranium cleaned for splitting hairs, let me explain. One does not lie simply by telling an untruth. In order for one to lie, one must KNOWINGLY tell an untruth. No evidence has yet been presented indicating the president knew his plan would turn out as it did when he made those bold, yet untrue, statements.

George W. Bush found himself in the same position as Barack Obama a while back. He told us Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. We subsequently invaded. And, guess what? No such weapons. Not a one.

Still, he may not have lied. I repeat, he may not have lied.

If we delve into the facts, we find that top intelligence agencies, both in and out of the United States, believed ol' Saddam had himself some pretty nasty stuff. Bush claimed he was taking a cue from those respected agencies. Therefore, until we have solid evidence to the contrary, we must simply assume that Bush misspoke.

The same goes for Obama.

Of course, none of this means that these politicians should be let off the hook for their blunders. Incompetence at the presidential level carries with it some serious consequences. Thousands of lives were lost in Iraq because people believed Bush. And now millions are losing their health insurance because of Obama. Yet that doesn't necessarily make these men villains.

In fact, the only villains I can see at the moment are on television. I'm talking about those ObamaCare supporters who claim the people losing their insurance now would have cost the rest of us later. Way to point the finger at the victims, guys. Where was your "brutal honesty" back when ObamaCare wasn't yet the law of the land? Sometimes the word "scum" truly does apply.

But I digress. The bottom line is this: if you're going to call someone a liar, then you'd better be damned sure that he or she lied. Otherwise you yourself may be guilty of making a false accusation.

And you certainly don't want that.