How They May Have Finally Killed Star Wars

The Force is strong with the World's Greatest Cat.

It finally may have happened, friends. They may have finally killed Star Wars. If the rumors are true, a film is in the works about Boba Fett, the onetime mysterious and super-cool bounty hunter. Way to turn Star Wars into X-Men, people.

What everyone in the industry seems to be forgetting is that one of Star Wars' great strengths was that it didn't show and explain everything. Remember the original trilogy? We heard about the senate. We heard about the clone wars. We heard about a lot of things. But we didn't see them.

And that's part of the reason the first three flicks were so insanely successful. Big as they were, they always left you with a feeling that they were only part of a larger picture. Important names and places were tossed off – but we never got to know a lot about them. That sense of mystery added weight to the whole affair. It gave movies that were aimed for young people an intelligent edge.

Say good-bye to intelligence. Truth is, we should all have been saying good-bye to it fifteen years ago, when it became clear the prequels were going to show and explain everything to us. Everything. Add that to the fact that they were often geared towards young children instead of pre-teens, like the original three films were, and you can understand why those prequels were a failure.

Look, I know it seems silly griping endlessly about Star Wars. It's a movie franchise, after all, not a way of life. For some of us, however, Star Wars symbolizes the era of our youth. And that's important. No one wants their past trampled on, at least not the good parts of that past.

So yeah, it's a shame they're taking the narrative strength out of the Star Wars universe. I really have no problem – well, not MUCH of a problem – with the series continuing. I'm not anti-capitalist, after all, and these flicks can make a lot of money. Good for those who can cash in on them.

Still, only the most heartless among us can applaud the death of art for the sake of cheap commerce. To do that , my friends, is to go over to the dark side.    

Bad Intentions

Comedian Doug Stanhope has raised a lot of money for a Moore, Oklahoma tornado survivor. He says he's rounded up the moolah because the woman is an atheist and he wants to "piss off" the Christians she's surrounded by.

Those Christians, by the way, were affected by the tornado, too. The family of Kyle Davis, for instance, was hit particularly hard. Devout Christians, they lost their eight year old son in the disaster. Not that Stanhope gives a rat's ass.

Then again, who's to say? Is it beyond the realm of possibility that a person who torments tornado victims might also find the death of a child amusing...or perhaps even deserved?

The point here is that Doug Stanhope is a sick guy. I've no doubt he's funny and that he's got lots of people supporting what he's done here...but that doesn't take away from the fact that the man's got serious issues.

"Charity feels good." Stanhope claimed in a piece he wrote for Vice.com, "even when you're doing it as a big 'Fuck You' to Christians who you've pre-judged, and not because you care about someone losing their shit."

Glad you feel good, Doug. No doubt you'd be delighted if someone pointed out that Christ was big on condemning those who did good things for bad reasons.

But I digress. Is there anyone out there, anyone at all, who believes Doug Stanhope is a genuinely happy person? We've all been hateful at one point or another. And, if we're at all honest with ourselves, we can readily admit that being hateful takes its toll on us.

Which leads me to my final point:

In 2014, we, as a society, should try to stop focusing on the negative so much. America has become an insanely tisky, overly-sensitive, and angry place. It's all turning us into a nation of Doug Stanhopes, a people so jaded that we can't see the value of just being nice with no attachments.

And no one wants to be like Doug Stanhope. Not even Doug. Trust me on this.

A Shout-Out To My Sis

Truth be told, it would be understandable if I were jealous of my sister. She's better educated, after all. She's also more charming. And less boisterous. She's probably a whole lot more fun to be around, to boot. Still, I'm not jealous. Not in the least. Why? Because, corny as it sounds, I'm grateful to have the girl around.

Here's a person who baby sat my ass through the endless drunken stupors of my youth, who stood by my side when everyone else (rightfully) walked away. She also cheered me on as I finally got my act together, too, offering me much needed support whenever possible. What's more, she's a great mom, as well as a great sister-in-law and friend to my wife, Jen. She's a terrific daughter, too.

Oh, and she doesn't take my crap, either. When others find a "Sean Situation" too delicate to act upon, she steps right up to the plate and gives it to me straight. I couldn't stand when she did that back when we were kids. I'm grateful she does it now.

So yeah, I'm penning a gushy shout out to my kid sis. I guess there are those who prefer rage-induced rants at the ills of the world - and, believe me, I'm good for plenty of those - but today I'm just going to give some much needed credit where credit is due.

Happy 21st Birthday, Heather!

PS: She's not really 21. Don't let her know I said so.

Why Charity And Stupidity Don't Mix

Your house shouldn't be open to absolutely everyone - no matter how big.

Let's get one thing out of the way right now - charity is a good thing. No, charity is a great thing. No, charity is an ESSENTIAL thing. It's good to keep in mind, however, that charity, like so many wonderful things, can sometimes be handled with stupidity and hence become harmful.

Take exercise, for instance. A good thing, right? Not when you decide to add an extra four miles to your morning run when it's a hundred and two degrees outside, you've got company showing up in an hour, your child has to go to camp and you've left the oven on.

Stupidity has a knack for turning good things bad. Which brings me back to charity. There are people out there who are generous, empathetic and completely stupid. They'll  invite a guy to live in their home even though the dude was just tossed from his own house two nights earlier for shattering all the windows in a crack induced blackout - his second of the week, no less. There comes a certain point when you have to ask if doing the right thing is really doing the right thing.

Back when I was drinking I would stumble down the streets of New York, giving money to each and every person with a hand out on the sidewalk. My sister, knowing a lush at work when she saw one, would suggest I keep my money in my pocket for the evening, then give a goodly sum to an organized charity when I sobered up.

Makes sense, doesn't it? Respectable charities tend to give your hard earned money to people who need it in EFFECTIVE WAYS. That's why it's better to give to people who will spend wisely. Or better yet, volunteer your time. Spending a few hours a week helping out in a homeless shelter will do society a lot more good than slipping a five to someone with rotting teeth and track marks up and down the arms.

 Being charitable feels good, but charity is about more than patting yourself on the shoulder. Don't be one of those people who makes generosity and stupidity synonymous with one another. Your won't be helping anyone - especially not yourself.

An Update

Hey all. I have an article appearing at Boxing Insider explaining why former champ David Haye may actually be Tyson Fury's best friend. Check it out here!

Losing Weight

The Wold's Greatest Cat Is A Firm Believer In Moderation.

Ever since I was a kid I've been nagged by people who tell me I can accomplish things if only I'd really WANT to. After all, wanting something, really wanting something, means you're willing to put yourself out of your comfort zone in order to get it.

Anyway, I read an article today at NJ.COM that showcased a man who really wanted to achieve something. And guess what? He did! The man is a Mixed Martial Artist who had to lose a bunch of weight for an upcoming match. He struggled, sure, but he got the job done.

Being inspired by this fighter's definition of what it is to really WANT something, I've decided, for the first time in my life, really, to put in the hard work everyone tells me is necessary in order to achieve a goal. That's right, I'm going to lose weight like someone who really WANTS to.

First, I'm going to crank up the heat in our place to ninety degrees. Then, I'm going to rub my wife's makeup remover all over my body in order to open up my pores (how the hell can I sweat off the pounds if my damned pores are closed???).

After I'm finished with the rub down, I'm going to don a rubber suit in order to start really getting my temperature up there. While doing that, I'm going to fill my bathtub with a combination of near scalding water, rubbing alcohol and Epsom salts.

Now, even though it will be hard for me to inhale and exhale at this point, I'm going to take the rubber suit off and sit my ass in that tub for a good half an hour.

But I'm not done. Not even close.

After I'm finally able to climb out of the tub I'm going to somehow manage to put my rubber suit back on. This may require the help of the guy downstairs, since, by this point, my wife may well have scooped up the World's Greatest Cat and fled to her sister's.

Undeterred, I'll crawl down to the garage in said rubber suit, somehow get inside my car and drive on over to the nearest gym, pulling over whenever I get lightheaded. Once at the gym, I'll hop right inside the sauna and spend the rest of the day in there. During moments of consciousness, I'll scrape the sweat off my body with a plastic bank card so more sweat will be able to flow at a faster pace.

Being discovered sometime after closing by the gym manager, I'll bum a ride home, then put the rubber suit back on and run another bath. Several days later, my wife will most likely find me in there when she comes to collect the rest of her things.

Being roused out of my near coma, I'll hop onto the scale and luxuriate in the fact that finally, at forty-two years of age, I've wanted something enough to do what's necessary to attain it. Then I'll pass back out again.

The next day I'll go to IHOP.

AN UPDATE

Hey all! Just wanted to give a head's up: my latest boxing article can be found here at Boxing Insider. It deals with the (possible) future of Iron Mike Tyson.

Check it out!